i’m all blasted up like shed feathers
with a heart that turns cum into milk, that awful transformation
let’s demonize babies until fear fills the world of childbirth
and the human race fails to move on into the next whenever
what can i say right now, but goddamn?
i have books on the shelves that i have not read
i have empty walls
i have a window that i cannot see out of
the light inside is on
and outside is night
somewhere out there the fuckers and the shills are getting paid
somewhere the mud relapses into the dirt and all
nothing is anything without something else
nothing is still a term of emptiness that i keep inside me
     like fur on the lungs
i try hard not to think of all the bad things i have done
     to the inside of me
not knowing what i was doing, putting all manner
     of things into me
swords, plant growth hormone, monuments to smallness,
     the almighty
i feel like a baby shedding moth wings like
     blood fiber into the carpet,
the wept out life of the heart attack shark attack
     goodnight death
the constant need to be noticed lives inside my heart with claws
the all-knowing shadow destruction/swallowing of darkness
cannot be allowed to continue in the way it has continued
     for so long
i want my faith to be emptied out like bursts
     of last night’s drinking
my god, the faith that i consume is enough to drown a rat,
     so let it
when water hits dust it all settles down into nothing, so let it
all the unborn babies in the world are unborn
     so let them not be
born into a world that still shakes at a promise
     like a hawk-dive field
where the rats get picked up like rocks by the river
     by a child on vacation
to a small state border battlefield where old men are honored
by the throwing of rocks into cold rivers overrun with tourists
i am dozing off to the sound outside my bedroom window
the cars passing, the trees reaching
up to some untouchable moon with no kids and no shelter
my light is still on
it is still dark outside
the only thing i’ve noticed is the way the world flickers
when you put it on a wick
the only thing i trust is the sound of a magnet
     sticking to a fridge
last night i ate the heart out the electrical outlet
my tongue got shocked into my throat
and i could not breathe for at least an hour
it felt like whales swimming in and out the mouth
like dust getting blown out the bell of a shivery trumpet
i do not have the gall or the gusto to tell you
     how to live your life
but, please, look out your window and into the street
something will be there
you will not see it