We had been doing some serious vertical drinking
And you had made me realise that I am not
In Switzerland unless I am in Switzerland

Whoopi was talking to a no-nonsense cat
About the dilemmas that some of us all face

But when I look at you, that’s when I feel like a freak
I feel like a freak because I’m only 24 years old
And yet I have the boobs of an 80 year old

So even though the trees are handing out presents
I still feel a little bit sad and naked
Like a Yeti on a skateboard
That wants to be somewhere else

I didn’t realise that just one glass
Of German wine could get you this drunk!!!

You came in the room
And said that I looked like a triangle
That my face looked like a map of Switzerland
So I staggered out of the door

It must have just been the power of suggestion
Because now I feel
Like I’m back in Switzerland again