That tree looks like a person I would like to know, but I don’t say hi. I keep walking.

It is 30 minutes after midnight. I am walking in the middle of the street, arms spread, wondering why I forget to look at girls’ asses in public.

This makes me feel mediocre in the most comfortable way.

Would I be a better person if I drove a Prius?

Fuck, I am walking anyway.

Some nights I take the same drugs but nothing happens. Some nights I am the sugar pill recipient. I will die from colon cancer. I will die and then who will wash the Prius I don’t own?

Molly is scared because she’s probably pregnant. She hasn’t peed on a stick yet but she hasn’t needed a tampon either.

I want to touch everything that has ever existed, contract syphilis and then sanitize the inside of my cock.

Everyone pretends to be so political when they sit in a Starbucks for too long. After 40 years they made the Starbucks’ mermaid younger, more attractive with more defined hair, and now my coffee tastes better.

Monster, put me on a putting green. Putt these pills into my mouth. Don’t let the windmill knock them into the riverbed.

I will be so sad if the pills drop into the riverbed like old stones.

Molly hasn’t called in a week. I have jerked off three times today.

Kleenex are expensive.

I walk by a cop car with its engine on but no one’s in the car.

Brittany is married by now. A voice in my head is telling me to scream myself shut. I count the stars but it’s always the same amount.

I am memorizing the sound of every parked car.

I text Bangs, Do you think TSA searches Sam Beam’s beard before he boards a plane? Is it hard for him to eat Thanksgiving dinner?

I always imagine her breathing like a mammoth.

Monster, leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone.